I seem like a serious whiner but I just got excited about teaching the Level 3 BTEC Year 2’s, even though I’ve been plagued with some nasty virus, I’ve prepared lessons as close to the prescribed manual as possible but allowing for some ‘artistic interpretation’. By that I mean designing tasks and activities which are of the 21st century and which the students will respond well to.
I put a lot of effort in, to use new technologies that I’d trialed before (at the students’ request might I add) and I was feeling really excited.
I was supposed to be teaching all elements relating to internal and external pressures on the retail industry, this was agreed in November AND December TWICE then reiterated in early January.
So yesterday I receive an email from my mentor “What are you planning on teaching on Wednesday for the observed session, I need to know so that I don’t overlap?”. I replied that I’m teaching the agreed elements of PEST and Porter’s Model.
I received a reply that the PEST would be good as it would recap what he was teaching the class on Monday i.e. PEST. I could have screamed. I don’t want to always be teaching recaps. I don’t want to bore the students rigid by delivering the same topic twice in a week and the only relief they have to look forward to is that I might deviate slightly from the prescribed text book approach set out in the manual and my voice is a bit higher pitched, other than that it’s boredomesville final stop for them.
I am capable, I scored really high marks in my initial observation and in my microteach, I’ve years of experience of presenting and of training and developing training and also of facilitating groups and teams, heck I even trained people how to facilitate groups and teams. If my mentor would let me teach he might see this for himself. In fact he has seen me in action and he commented on how well I engaged the group and made what we did interactive and inclusive and engaging.
Grrr, I’m just tired of this now. It takes the wind out of my already only a quarter full sails. I just want to teach something that isn’t a recap. I feel like I’m in the story of the 3 little pigs where the wolf agrees a time to go to the fair with the third little pig but the third little pig reneges on that arrangement and rushes off the the fair early on purpose to pee the wolf off. I can’t stand playing games. This is really getting boring now.
Roll on Thursday when I can actually teach something without it being a recap of something that bored the kids rigid the day before.
I hate being negative and I will find some positivity tomorrow but this is really starting to become all too predictable now. I hate being drawn in and then kicked in my face and this is what it feels like is happening time after time. Recorded mentor meeting time again, starting to sound like a right moaner now but this is supposed to be where I practice and learn and it’s just not happening.
At this rate all of my reflections will be based on the exact same scenario time and again and will focus on the importance of following through on what was arranged. I even got it in writing last time. I refused to teach the topic that my fellow PGCE student had agreed to teach when asked or else he would have been left repeating too.
So fed up with this, believe me if you are thinking of teacher training I seriously hope you get a good placement and a mentor who is not unwilling to let you have a go and unwilling to let you develop as a teacher, that’s not the idea but that’s what is happening and I’m fast losing the will to carry on with what I have a real passion for and what I am good at.